Chaperones and bad advice

It has been a couple weeks since I last wrote about my courtship and eventual marriage to my lovely wife 20 years ago this summer.  It is not that I have been lazy or that I no longer love my wife, it is because nothing too exciting happened those weeks.

After being in the hospital for a week fighting a post operative infection ( 26 and Invincible ? ) I was so exhausted and weak that we did very little those weeks.  I think we spent most of our time watching VHS videos (the predecessor of DVDs for the kiddies out there in blog land).  Nonetheless, a few significant things did happen.

1.  I asked Lisy’s Father for his daughter’s hand in marriage:  Yes, just like in the old days, I had to ask permission from Lisy’s father to marry his daughter.  Granted, it did not happen in the order it was supposed to – I should have gotten his permission first.  But it did happen.

The Saturday after I got out of the hospital I called Lisy’s father, Don René, to ask for his permission and blessing to marry his daughter.  It was a bid deal, made even bigger by having to do it in Spanish.  The whole time I am preparing for the conversation I keep thinking that the only “Don” I have ever heard of was “Don Corleone” from favorite movie “The Godfather”. 

I am sure that my Spanish was not perfect. I also now know Don René so well that I should never have been afraid or nervous.  He is a very accommodating and generous man who loves his daughter very much.  He would have allowed her to do whatever she wanted.  Even if that meant marry a relatively poor over weight American six weeks after meeting him.  That was good news for me because I fit the profile.

Lisy and I with our chaperone - Nery.

2.  I got a chaperone:  As soon as Lisy’s father knew of our intentions he dispatched his son Nery to come to be our chaperone.  He arrived a few days after my phone call.  His first job was to check me out as a suitable candidate for marriage into the family.  His second job was to be there to give Lisy away in marriage.  His most annoying job was to be our chaperone.  He was like a big chain that we had to carry around with us everywhere we went.  He as there to help us keep honor and purity in our relationship.  I am thankful that he was there.  You really don’t see much these days where young couples need to be chaperoned.  But as much as I did not appreciate it back then, I think it was a wonderful idea of Lisy’s father.  I think I will arrange a chaperone for my daughter one day, whether she likes it or not. 😉

3. I got bad immigration advice:  We were wrongly advised to get married right away to avoid immigration problems later.  It turned out to be bad immigration advice and wonderful life changing advice.  The idea was to have a civil marriage to aid in Lisy immigration when she returned to the USA later after our Guatemalan wedding.  It was the wrong advice and it took some figuring out to resolve.  We did resolve it eventually.  But the good outcome of this bad advice was that we were going to get married soon.  So soon that it makes most people’s head spin.  Our wedding day was picked for Saturday, August 25, 1990.  The location would be my mother’s living room.  My friend and current blog read Greg Monaco would officiate. 

During these weeks plans were made and changes and dreams were being created and formed.  In the six weeks since we met we had gone through a lot together (courtship, engagement, health crisis etc.) but the whole time God was in control.  He knew what we needed to build the foundation for what will hopefully be a lifetime together.

Next Post:  August 25th – our 1st wedding day.

For the whole evolving story see the link to the other posts here…

About plimtuna

I am just an average guy trying to find his way along this journey of life. I am definitely middle aged. I am definitely happily married with a wife and two children. Personally, I have a passion for things eternal. Professionally, I have a passion for things that are securely in control.
This entry was posted in Proverbs 18:22 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Chaperones and bad advice

  1. elizabeth Palacios says:

    I love it!!

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